Episode 9: The Love Guru

Telai: You know what, Ive always wonder why some guys cant get a gurl.
Ed: Well maybe they are just too ugly or I mean you know too incompetent!
Telai: No! Most girls are not like that!
Ed: Face it Telai. Girls dont like boys, girls love cars and money. See what happen to the Dingle. He almost died because of the excitement given to her by Stacy! Well I must admit. Stacy is a real hot chick, however, shes just the good old housekeeper?
Telai: What do you mean?
Ed: Well I mean they marry rich, sickely, old guys and keep their house after they die.
Telai: Dont be like that ed. Stop labelling people. Youll be damned.
Ed: Forchristsake Telai! Its is a free country.
Telai: Oh well, free as it is! So there, we've invited a very special guest for tonights episode. He is known as the Guru or simply call him Mr. G for short!
Ed: Hi Mr. G!
Mr G: Hi fans! Hi girls!
Telai: So wuts instore for us tonight Mr G?
Mr G: Well Im the Love Guru. I was born to spread the love to the world. Btw you should address me Sir, dispespectful hosts!
Telai: We are sorry, Sir G.
Katie: Guys, you have to hear this. I just saw a really lovely gurl at the other side of the fence. Unfortunately she dont have a name.
Sir G: Well thats pretty unfair. Every pretty girl deserves a name.
Katie: You hear that guys. She deserves a name.
Telai: Lets call her the "unknown foe from another hoe" simply because she's from the other side.
Ed: STFU! This is gonna be a job for Sir G! He is the expert on girls!
Sir G: Well I say we leave it to your viewers. I mean a good topic for a forum. Giving out names for pretty gurls is interesting.
Katie: You got that right Sir G. Apprently we have a collection of names here. We have Ms.competence, Santa's elf, Ms Zebra and a whole bunch of hot chicks around the corner.
Sir G: You guys are awesome!
Telai: Whatever! Boys will always be boys!
Ed: So we will do a survey and hopefully get a good suggestion. Cast in your suggestions now.
Telai: So Sir G, we heard that a lot of girls fall for you. We badly need your help to help our virgin guys somehow get a gurlfriend.
Sir G: That is pretty pathetic. Dont worry Im here to help. Have you heard the story about the ant?
Ed: Go ahead sir.
Sir G: Alright then. A guy should share this story to his gurl in order for him to put her in bed. Im telling you this is awesomely effective.
Telai: Hurry up, time is mana!
Sir G: Once upon a time there was a thirsty queen ant. Luckily, she saw a half filled Coke bottle. She hurriedly went inside the bottle to drink. But because of her excitement she didnt notice that she drink too much of the liquid. She then realized that she cant go out of the bottle because her tummy is too heavily filled with coke. Suddenly, a male ant pass by so the queen immediately ask for help. The male ant went inside the bottle but ask for a condition before he help the queen ant. He ask the queen to have sex with him before he do the favor. Leaving the queen ant with no choice, they had sex but unknown to the male ant that he will die after the intercourse. The male ant eventually died leaving the queen ant helpless again. A minute passed and another male ant passed by and try to help the queen and ask for the same condition. As expected, the male ant also died. Several male ants passed by but the same thing happen over and over until the queen became hopeless. But something happen that finally led the queen outside the bottle. Do you know what happen?
Ed: well I think she filed up the whole bunch of ant corpse making it possible for her to get out.
Sir G: I dont think so. Shes not even capable of carrying herself.
Katie: Well I really dont know but maybe her stomach is empty now because she urinated the liquid she just drink.
Sir G: Well it could be but still not the right thing.
Telai: Well I really dont care.
Sir G: You are really disrespectful. Well wanna know tha answer guys?
Ed: Well I think I give up.
Sir G: First of all there is no answer to that.
Katie: So whats the catch?
Sir G: Well now is the time to make the move. Remember the girl listening to your story, very curious what happen?
Ed: Oh yeah!
Sir G: Tell her that before you reveal the answer, you need to ask her the same condition asked by the male ant to the queen.
Ed: Oh thats pretty clever. You're the man.
Katie: Sorry, I find it more of a sucker style. I mean those are things you dont need to ask. For me action speaks louder than, you know, other actions. lolz!
Sir G: Trust me guys Im the Guru!
Ed: Oh well we think the Dingle might need it!
Telai: Can we end the show now? I feel out of place here!
Ed: Before we go, we just like you to know that we need suggestions for a good name for our "unknown foe from another hoe". Til then!
(fin)