WARNING: All characters depicted herein are fictional. Any relation to real life is purely coincidental. thx.
ACT I: The Meating
Setting: A mediocre restaurant aptly named Burger Restaurant. They serve anything but burgers. DUH?!
[It's the first day of orientation. The shift manager attends to his ward. Among the sea of unfamiliar faces, we see a couple that stands out. One's Jollibee. A paticularly pretty girl who puts the "S" in ass. Seated right next to her is her friend Cutie, a mild-mannered girl whose face has launched a thousand ships. A seemingly rowdy bunch of guys are seated a row behind them. We see Katie and Wendy's. They're the best of friends (although they have girlie names, they're men. Don't argue). Katie is a lanky boy with eyes of a sex maniac (kidding!). On the other hand, Wendy's is a smartass who knows almost everything... almost.]
Jakiro: Hi gals. The name's Jakiro and I am the owner slash shift manager slash ruler slash head jerk of this hell hole.
Wendy's: (Standing up) Excuse me. I think I'm not speaking for myself when I say that I'm owffended. There are guys here as well.
Jakiro: What's your name?
Wendy's: Wendy's.
Jakiro: Are you kidding me?
Wendy's: No.
Jakiro: That's a girl's name! (A flame large enough to cook shawarma beef comes out of his nostrils) SIDDOWN!
Jakiro: (In a calm tone) I only have 1 rule here: Don't fall... in love. You'll definitely get hurt. Seriuosly. You'll get hurt more if you fall off a cliff but that's a totally different thing. Anyway, here are your benefits... (blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda)...
Jollibee: (Whispering to Cutie) I think we're in for a rough ride. This manager's a total psycho.
Cutie: (Whisper) I think so, too. But we desperately need this job. Beggars can't be choosers.
Jollibee: (sigh) You're right. I just hope I don't fall in love. I don't want to be on Jakiro's bad side.
Cutie: Does he even have a good side?
Jollibee: You have a point.
[Unknowingly, behind the beautiful ladies, Katie caught himself staring at Jollibee.]
Katie: (Whispering to Wendy's) Dude, I think I'm in love. That girl in front of us is making my heart skip a beat. I'm like, breathless.
Wendy's: O RLY?
Katie: ITSA RLY!(use Mario's accent)
[Wendy's checks Jollibee out.]
Wendy's: I can't blame you. She's really something. Good luck though. Satan's advocate here (pointing to Jakiro) doesn't approve of love. My sympathies.
Katie: How do you suggest I go about that?
Wendy's: Beats me.
Jakiro: And that's all you're gonna get. If you have any questions, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! You're not paid to think. You're paid to get bored. Be reminded that you are contractual employees only. You'll occasionally get discrepancies but that's perfectly normal. Come here tomorrow at 6AM. Don't be late. Now, get the hell out of here!
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